© 2006 Tri-
Recent local tragedies and the one-year anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting have made some area residents who deal with the bereavement process curious about how teens and children express and cope with their grief.
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Rev. Duane Hetzer, ELCH chaplain and the event coordinator, said he believes it is very important to provide a conference like this to help people understand children who experience loss. “Often children can seem like they’re past grieving and then you start to see behavioral changes... people may start to assume that it is bad behavior, which may not be the case,” he said.
Nancy Ash, an ER nurse who also serves as parish nurse at Emmanuel Presbyterian, said, “Young people in my Sunday school class are still struggling with recent losses in the area and it is important for me to have compassionate information to help patients, family, friends and church family the best that I can... young people struggle and will continue to struggle so it is important to help them as well.”
The teleconference was made up of a panel of psychologists discussing video footage of children and teens speaking out about their own mourning experiences. There were also video interviews of adults who help children cope with their various losses.
“It’s always good to gain new insights to see if what I think and how I help those at Dawson’s is correct,” said Judy Kidder, who is the Grief Facilitator at Dawson’s Funeral Home. “Sometimes adults don’t understand,” she went on. “Just because kids play and have fun doesn’t mean they don’t grieve... play is their only outlet.” Kidder said the playroom at Dawson’s has helped to serve this purpose for children in the past and will continue to do so.
The Hospice Foundation of America asked children and teens up to age eighteen who had lost parents, siblings and friends how they grieve. The responses were generally the same. Those interviewed said that they experienced shock, fear, confusion and anger.
PhD., M Div Kenneth J. Doka said that children know what’s best for them when they are grieving, such as playing or being with other children. “It is important to use words such as ‘die’ and ‘dead’ rather than ‘loss’ because it makes it more real that the child will never have another friend like that friend,” he said.
Sisters Daniela, 12, and Anabela, 14, spoke about the death of their baby sister to drowning. The older sister talked about how she felt like she had to be strong for her family so that they would feel stronger. PhD., RN, FAAN Nancy Hogan said that reactions like that are natural and expected.
Rev. Hetzer said that children have a hard time expressing their grief because they lack the vocabulary to explain properly and insist that they need support. Hogan provided a solution to this dilemma. “If you allow children to explain their own story in their own words, they will reveal their pain,” she said.
For any questions about the HFA seminar or for any information pertaining to grief counsel, contact Rev. Duane Hetzer at the Pastoral Care Department of East Liverpool City Hospital at 330-
Article and photo by Holly Stephanoff and used by permission of The Review.
Pictured is Tanta Hendricks, pastor of Emmanuel Presbyterian Church, viewing the recent teleconference dealing with “Understanding How Children Grieve” held at East Liverpool City Hospital.
The grief seminar telecast was sponsored by the Hospice Foundation of America and presented by the Pastoral Care Department and the East Liverpool City Hospital on Wednesday, April 16.
The grief seminar telecast was sponsored by the Hospice Foundation of America and presented by the Pastoral Care Department and the East Liverpool City Hospital on Wednesday, April 16.